Hi Mommy! 101 Reasons You Are Single Gentlemens Edition (Monkey University Lecture Series #1)

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You are so brilliant! You totally win that battle. Giant Chicken Beyonce rules…seriously you gave Victor such a practical gift. Leanna recently posted Whats In My Purse. You are a genius and I love you. Thank you for the chicken-at-the-front-door photo. I have not laughed that hard since you took a picture of your parents back yard. Annadanna from Canada recently posted Not all dads are jackoffs. Koockie recently posted Got 99 problems but a drink aint one.

But only because I appreciate nature. And dinner. I have a habit of buying things simply because they are hilarious. Also, for Christmas my mom got me a wooden box full of tea. With a cock on it. She said she spent the longest time trying to find some sort of assortment of tea without a rooster so that she would not have to deal with me announcing that I had received a cock box all day long.

Once again, glad to be following. Ninja Mike recently posted Freedom. I would love to have a goddamned cock lawn ornament, but I worry that my king cobra lawn ornament would want to eat it can you see the headlines? The snake eats the cock?? Besides, the lawn gnomes are already stressed out as it is. It kind of looks like the good luck chickens they make in Portugal, only giant sized. Happy 15th anniversary! Victor DOES know what a lucky man he is, right? Nobody else I know gets life lessons like this on such a regular basis. My 15th anniversary is next week, and I had no idea that the 15th is Big Metal Chickens!

Once again, your blog is both timely and informative! My husband will be so pleased. No every man wants to be given a giant cock as an Anniversary gift. Thank you. And tell Victor thanks, too, for hating towles so much. Truly in hysterics over here. Like I had to wait for my breathing to get to seminormal before I attempted typing. Angelique recently posted Free to play. I just laughed so hard in the coffee shop the coffee guy asked me what I was laughing at! I love this. Still laughing very hard! Bringing home a metal chicken in lieu of towels was def not what a husband would expect.

God I love this post. Kelly recently posted Fourrible. You so made my migraine better this morning. Karen recently posted Fibro Friday! I have tears streaming down my face. This is the greatest chicken story in the story of chickens. Beyonce is Legend!

0.0 Meta-Questions about this FAQ

I am lmao at you two in the store causing a commotion. It is awesome that yu have a friend equally crazy enough to see the value in this amazing piece of art. Now I know better. Les recently posted The head of St Vitalis of Assisi. That is awesome. Make a tshirt about this, stat. I will buy it. Because I will NOT buy a chicken like that. Goddamn right! That is one of the best chicken purchases I have ever seen! Think of the uses! Jess recently posted Housewarming Gifts. John B recently posted things Ive learned recently cough phoning it in today.

Did they have any giant flamingos? I would totally drive to Texas and rent a Uhaul if the had 5 foot metal flamingos. My wife will be so happy that, after 30 years, I will finally get this right. Can you do birthdays the same way. Jonah Gibson recently posted Darwin in Gatorland. Put me down for sending you a towel in the mail. You know, to coordinate with Beyonce. What disgruntled employee at what failing company came up with the idea for that chicken do you think? Stimey recently posted Sam- Creative- Thoughtful- and Respectful.

Victor needs to get over it. And I would totally donate a dollar towards the cause to help Victor feel better about your purchase. BTW…hilarious post. I needed that. Also, have sent link to husband for training purposes. Be thankful we have towels, young man, and no 5ft metal chickens. Is it just me or does Beyonce remind you of the Wallace and Gromit penguin with a washing up glove on its head? This is hysterical! Oh and Happy Early Anniversary.

Sarah Peduzzi recently posted Friends- Dont forget about them. Love it!!! I have a 3 foot chicken that is very similar. His name is Henry and he is perched on top of our fridge and looks down at us. The Escrow Goddess recently posted Weight Watchers just might be turning me into an alcohlic Well- at least I will be a skinny drunk.

And I already have picked out my own chicken. I might get two. One in gold and one in silver. Though technically, Beyonce is a rooster. So perhaps Victor is offended that you bought him a giant metal cock for your anniversary? Anyway, nice cock, dude. All the single chickens, all the single chickens….. Pants recently posted nails and a movie. Did James Garfield teach Victor nothing? Just wait.

That is one fantastic cock. Completely fantastic. Dangerboy recently posted Surviving the Life. Return it for not being able to stand, get discounted more, and buy towels with the free money. However could he compete with this gift?! Jay Lee recently posted Sun Halo — May 4- Thank you for being the ward of unwanted animal bizarrities. I needed this chicken story this morning.

My did almost the same thing. They were at Burlington and saw this two ducks. The employees were sad to see them go. Xander recently posted Season of Cliffhangers. Pepper out of my nose, wonderful. Thanks for the yucks. Jenny, I feel I should warn you about the following possibility: Leaving Beyonce in the woods outside is just asking for wasps to build nests in there. Which is fine if you never move him, but if Victor ever does decide to move him… that chicken will not only cut him, but also sting him unmercifully.

Once a wasp built a nest right inside the door to my gas tank. Those Texas wasps are sneaky little things. On the other hand, a giant metal chicken that shoots wasps at you sounds like just the sort of thing that you might enjoy. So, enjoy! Tell me where to send the dollar and a towel. Tell me. Because I have not laughed so hard and for so long… I will totally help pay off that purchase.

Kendahl recently posted One of my favorite actors one of my favorite actresses how could it be bad. Thinking about doing something like that to my fiance, just to go ahead and break him in. Also, awesome, awesome friend. Good friends make friends buy ugly crazy crap. Allyn recently posted Treasure- A horse is a horse. I want one…. Honestly I think that Victor is an asshole, because only assholes see the world of huge metal chickens in a bad way.

First time blg reader here. I was only able to post after I wiped my eyes with a tissue. You are my hero. I love that your sense of whimsy does not quail before a giant metal chicken. Thanks for making another happy spot on my mental landscape. Summer recently posted gangsta style game pun. I love you have it watching him through the window. I bet he gets more work done with inspiration just a glance away. Maybe you should start writing it. Love It. Thanks for the ideas…pick your own battles! I so understand exactly how you feel. I once bought a very soft stuffed F.

G that was sending me spiritual messages at a gas station. This post completely made my day! Happy Anniversary — Victor is a lucky man! Where can I get a chicken? You should totally put some blinking L. Karen recently posted Wait Youre supposed to use a cell phone to talk to people. My husband is also always bitching about towels. Holy crapper, I needed a laugh! We are full of dying grandfathers and strokey dads around my dwelling. If we had an enormous metal chicken life would be better. That Uncomfortable Itch recently posted These days. Does that count? Because I really, really need to get Mister W a giant metal chicken.

My husband tends to look at me funny when I laugh maniacally in front of the computer. Lynn Walking With Scissors recently posted You can thank my brother for this one…. When I have my 15th wedding anniversary in a few years, I want to go shopping with you. I will find a way to transport you to Missouri, so that we can go shopping for something equally as awesome as a five foot rusty sharp chicken.

I think the hundred bucks you spent on Beyonce was just about the best thing you could have done. If I had a giant metal chicken…my life would be complete. Kristi recently posted Delicious Weekend. I blogged about a giant metal chicken last week! Giant metal chickens are the new black. Brandy recently posted I believe Ive avoided being morbid. I sent this to my boyfriend. Random recently posted Have you ever noticed. This just made me laugh so hard I cried. I aspire to maybe being, one day, a vague reflection of your greatness.

I brought home a distant cousin in December! I got the same reaction, except mine was at the airport. Angella recently posted Rays Of Sunshine. You are a RIOT!!! And your man must be made of steel not to have melted down in laughing fits! By the end of this it was a 15 foot chicken! Now I must look for the 15 foot chicken for my 15th anniversary. Nah, I like cats. So it would have to be a 15 foot cat staring down at my husband. I totally would have rang the bell and hidden as well. But my husband would have probably picked it up and heaved it across the road or something, because he is easy to rattle.

May you have many more. I think 16 is towels, by the way. Polish Mama on the Prairie recently posted Pickle Hamburgers. I blame it on lack of sleep. Also … drinking a Killer Bee helps too. Come to think of it, the aldermen who voted against allowing a 4-H member to have chickens in our city might deserve a visit from mega-chicken. Carla chickmae recently posted Sooke baby! Be Specific! Now this? Let me tell you something dude, if You got Jenny a 5 foot cock for you guys 15 year anniversary she would lock her self in her room and punch shit.

Right now Victor I am pretty upset with your reaction, which is bad timing on your part considering our local 60 year goofy putt putt golf place just went out of business and they have shit tons of crazy huge things for sale. You better get in line man. ThePeachy1 recently posted Tell it Tuesday- Not even advice. I have solutions! Move the 5 foot cock into the bathroom and hang the pink towels on it. ThePittsofBeingPeachy recently posted I got honked- won 20 and no nuts were tazered.

Jenny asked me to drop by and tell you that she misses you. That second photo just made my day. Jess recently posted On RVs. My eyes are full of tears right now, from the hysterical laughter. That photo of the chicken on the doorstep is pure platinum awesomeness. And the thought of a rooster named Beyonce is even more hilarious. I had no idea you could buy a gay metal rooster that will cut you. I think you have a very grand entry way to your house. Not only is she an awesome conversation starter, she will scare away any and all solicitors you might get. Also, Victor still owes me a better reaction.

And I will collect. Oh yes I will. Your cock is colorful and beautiful! Excellent purchase! Jocelyn recently posted Thank you. This is, quite possibly, the most hilarious story involving Victor yet. So, congratulations — you now have like 15 new readers. A rooster, not a chicken, right? Who can say No to Beyonce?? Victor probably has a case of cock envy.

Chibi Jeebs recently posted On body acceptance. You could position Beyonce outside your bathroom door and she could hold towels for you. Victor is a very lucky guy. Either that or he is highly medicated. Im on BlogHercom!! And Some Google search terms. Did someone already say how this is a classic example of life imitating art?

Or art imitating art? I really need to stop reading these at work! Kimberly J recently posted Happy Fathers Day! You need a tin sign that reads the sentiment. I love it. Eric recently posted Washington DC. I need a Chicken like that! I totally have to go to Ross or those other discount places and find a chicken like this. My neighbors would HATE it and it would be awesome and win my neighborhood. Holy mother, this made my cry, it was that hysterical. When he fell in the store you should have demanded a discount because he was dented.

Just like the old ladies with cans who always get in line in front of me. Mustache recently posted His Name is Sammy Sosa. Betty Fokker recently posted Of facts and death threats.

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I imagine a giant metal chicken at your door is a small step down from a decapitated horse head in your bed. Happy Anniversary! Andie recently posted I just had the puberty talk and the sex talk at one time and now I need a drink- thanks. Snarky should consider himself lucky that I mostly shop online, for clothes and shoes.

Honestly I think you should just keep it at the front door like that. If only it was solar powered and lit up after dark then that would be like the best present ever. Hugs DHW x. I am so excited to know that chickens are the 15th anniversary gift. And not some lame-ass towels. The chicken fund saving has begun — three full years until my own 5 foot Beyonce. No, not a beyonce named Guy! You know what I mean. And when I start doing standup again real soon so get your tickets now! I swear I am. Jami recently posted Sharing is caring.

You know, I was thinking about the James Garfield postcard project to raise money to subsidize the cost of James Garfield and I think the Knock Knock Motherfucker picture would make for an excellent line of anniversary greeting cards. Just think of all the things you can do to this chicken such as hang plastic neon eggs from it at Easter and wrap it in lights at Christmas. Awesome anniversary gift, Jenny! What a DEAL….. Give him time…. Amy recently posted Im so strange even my bike needs a special pump. Rebecca recently posted Bright Moments with Becca-. So I just spent two whole minutes trying to figure out where the bottom half of your body was in the pic of you hugging the giant cock, er, chicken.

Because I need glasses, apparently. Either one, really. This was beautiful. I have the checkmate I need to win all arguments with my husband now. I have it. Penbleth recently posted Longest day- minus 21 years. I think you should drape one of the towels around Beyonce. Then leave the she-cock in the bathroom when Victor is in the shower.

Sarah recently posted Strange Days. I, for one, would like some greeting cards with that giant metal chicken at the front door photo on them, and blank inside. Many sentiments can be expressed via that photo: You say I never come visit, but you should be careful what you wish for; Surprise! Victor, as usual, is possessed of an appalling lack of imagination, but then couples are supposed to be complementary, so maybe he just needs to appreciate how much money Beyonce will bring in.

Jennifer recently posted Cloth diapers do not make me a better person than you. I have tweeted at you, and you followed me back so I felt like a celebrity for a few minutes one night. The only thing that would make it better is if I had been there in person. Keep up the good work, and Happy Anniversary! Now I want a 5-foot metal chicken, dammit! Xander could use a little surprise to come home to. Kella recently posted If I love you- I will shrink you into yarny miniatures of yourself…. Oh my gosh. I love you so much. I can not stop laughing.

You totally made my day. I want to be your neighbor, and your best friend — no both. Will you be my neighbor? And now I want that chicken! Kristi Stone recently posted Love to Dress Zulily. Oh… I forgot, where can I buy one!?!?!? This was the last post that I read last night. It is so memorable. I had to post it on all of my social networking sites, to share the love. Thank you Jenny for making a crappy week so much better.

I wish I was in Texas to experience to the joy of shopping with you and Laura. Oh the fun we could have…. I desperately need a giant rooster now…. OK, let me get this straight. Victor wanted you wet and dirty or at least not dried and clean so you went off and bought a huge metal cock? AND it can sing! Beyonce, duh. Holy crap, Jenny! Victor should be happy you showed some restraint. And now that the demand for 5 foot metal chickens is inevitably going to skyrocket due to this post, he is probably worth more than you paid for him.

SO it was like an investment. ADDGirl recently posted Oven roasted veggies- recipe tuesday. I bought a giant chicken at Pecan Street last fall and had to walk back to our booth with it. Still a drunk asshole slammed right into me and down I went onto 6th street with a giant chicken right on top of me. Bodaciousboomer recently posted If you really believe- then why is this so hard. Oh geez. That was friggin hilarious. Although that might be easier if it were not 5 feet and weighing in at, say, a decent amount of pounds? Love it. And to think that I got rid of my big, metal chicken just before my 15th anniversary!

Because, hello? Walking away from them was one of the hardest moments of my life. This might be my favorite bloggess story ever. Cindy recently posted Happy Fathers Day. What a great way to make some extra scratch pun intended. You can post flyers advertising a private in house Beyonce concert and sell tickets. Download songs sung by chickens they exist and when people get there you can play the chicken music. I would totally go!

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Victor is surprisingly hard to rattle because he has a wildebeest head on his wall and some other weird animals and his father-in-law is a taxidermist. This is the kind of behavior that tells me you have a failing marriage or at least are headed for one. If your husband was being unreasonable, then you communicate and let it go, putting the ball in his court.

You should have given him time to think about it, even if that meant a few weeks of going without your towels. If I were you, I would consider some marriage counseling, focusing on healthy communication and problem resolution and compromise. My sister sent this to me knowing full well my 9th anniversary is tomorrow. I would love nothing more than to give that to my husband!

I very rarely crack up by myself in front of my computer… But this did it. Your actions were childish, cowardly and wasteful. All you husband wanted was for you to do what he told you, how fucking hard is it for women to honor their men anymore? Oh yeh, go buy a damn chicken made of scrap metal and put it in his face to purposely piss him off. What the fuck? Fantastically funny story! I, too, want a big metal rooster….. I am dying with laughter now. Mandie recently posted 1 Mandie. I was having a bad day and then I came across this post and my day suddenly got so much better.

I needed this laughter and whimsy. I…there…there are so many puns. Tears, down my face. Where have you been all my life, anyway? All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies Now put your hands up. When you consider the past as destiny, no more questions are raised and the mind is at ease.

And when you consider the future as free will you are filled with enthusiasm and dynamism. Consider the past as destiny, the future as free will and the present moment as Divinity. Question: How do we remove the anxiety? Answer: By having faith in the Divine and doing sadhana. The Bible speaks of the Nephilim too, the fallen angels of God.

The interbreeding of these fallen angels and humans is what constitutes the reason for the corruption of the perfection of humanity. The fall into sin. So if you are an aethiest then does this mean that you see no difference between good and evil? What do you base your morality on?

Does everything and anything go? Or do you have an internal compass you follow? Do you have a conscience? Does anything you think and do matter? The mere fact that the vast majority of humanity throughout the ages have believed in a higher power and continues to do so should tell you something. Takes an open mind to consider that there may be some truth in what alot of other people are saying about the spriitual reality of life on earth. We call things myths and legends simply because they do not fit into our current worldview.

Death and dead bodies and its inevitability appears to be a central focus for us. If it is true as you say that we disappear when we die, what is there to fear? Absolutely nothing. Makes life and death very easy, cut and dried. It may even give us a sense of freedom to do as we please without considering the effects to the causes we create — consequences.

What a relief! Evil and sinfulness has no meaning, neither does love. There was a time I wished and wanted this to be so, I even disliked God for creating us in the first place because we are such a bunch of miserable losers. I have never been afraid to die, and in my darker moments, wished for that complete state of oblivion, non-existence that you speak about. Is this what you believe? I have my own personal experience, as untold and told others have, and there is also a vast body of scientific work available to you, which has informed us that we are absolutely not our bodies.

That our bodies are merely vehicles while we walk on earth. To choose to dismiss this available evidence is not clever. Perhaps you say to yourself, well, why have I not experienced this for myself. Maybe I am not chosen for heaven. I must be one of those who are depicted as going to hell because I have had no sign given to me.

I must be bad because Jesus has not revealed himself to me. Something rises up, my inability to accept this situation, so I then decide and pronounce for myself that there is no Jesus and there is no heaven and hell, and I set myself free from the fear of life and death in this way. Obviously one that may be working for you, but you are deceived. The vast majority of humans fear death, and even life itself. Many of them have been set free from fear through Christ Jesus. There seems to be this inclination in humanity to want to live forever. This desire is there because it is part of our human DNA, to be eternal.

Thank you for calling me weak and a fool, for I am so, for Christ Jesus, who is the love of my life. I have never disagreed with a single word any of them have said. The best way for me to communicate to you all the problems with religion is to ask you to at least start with Sam Harris. He addresses point by point each of the things you mention. Hi Clay, I am going to do as you ask and watch what Sam Harris has to say.

In the meantime, can I ask you to respond to the following please:. You can search for it of go here for one post. Morality is the desire to do good, and help your own kind. Humans have a very evolved empathy and we all understand the golden rule. Sam Harris points this out. No supernatural being needed. All evidence shows that consciousness and all of thought happens in brain cells only. There is no need to suppose the existence of a god to further our understanding of minds. All agnostics or atheists would be fools to not admit that Pantheism is just as likely to be true as not.

What makes obvious moral sense on earth might seem very strange on Vulcan or Romulus. Different environmental forces would create different moral programming. What is pantheism? I think most lifeforms that evolve to reach intelligence have a concept of cooperation, and knowing what is best for the survival of the species.

I think religion would evolve in all intelligent life also, as a way to explain things, and ultimately as science develops, contradictions arise, so the religion v. Romulans as I understand them, poorly are pretty savage. Their morality would be quite foreign to us. That seems plausible to me. Your point, presumably, is that this is just Hollywood and that cooperation would be essential to intelligent life forms. Sure, maybe, but who can say for sure? Even though we only know of life on this planet there are solid and reasonable extrapolations that can be made, IMO, regarding other life in the universe.

And that extends to morality I believe. Just like math would be known, the number PI would be known. Certain truths are going to be universal about how brains work. Even brains, themselves, will all have similar structure. Networks of communicating cells driving motor cells of some kind for motion. I agree: intelligent beings have morality as a category of thought. I agree with you that, from our very limited viewpoint, cooperation seems to be a key point to civilization. Human sacrifice originates from the antediluvian period when humanity was under the tyrannical rule of the fallen demonic angels and their offspring who ate humans and fed off their blood life force.

Even today Lucifer requires the blood of humans in order to manifest himself physically to his followers. I agree that God is the Quantum Mechanics and we are all a part of him, everything is, but he is also a separate and supreme entity at the same time. God is without cause and effect which is a law that applies only to our dimension just like time. Uh … the point here is that Yahweh demands a blood sacrifice. So does that make demanding a blood sacrifice a good thing or a bad thing? The blood sacrifice of animals as shown to us by God was a method used by the priests of that time to prepare themselves to enter into the presence of God since only the sprinkling of blood cleansed or covered the sin, otherwise they would have been destroyed by his holiness.

The most important teaching to take from the old testament sacrifice system is that of the foreshadowing of the event of Jesus Christ on the cross, God the ultimate sacrifice. And the way human beings managed to pervert this method also upset him.

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I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs or goats. I am also certain that if there was another better way he would have taken it. I suppose I do. The most important answers may never arrive through science although I keep hoping that it will bring something better than it has until now, especially since the advent of quantum physics which is taking scientists more and more into the esoteric realms. Unfortunately we inherited the sin genetically and sprititually which means we are born that way and then we go on also to commit our own brand of errors. Sounds good, I would love to see you in heaven!

Now begins???? What do you have to say about it, Bob? Did you respond point by point to my argument in the post? Your theology is off topic. If good is based on the instinct for survival then it must also justify any act required in defence or progress of such organism even if it creates injustice towards other organisms, species, tribes, religions. So it is innately self pre-occupied? Evidence does not show that consciousness and thought originates in the brain.

Consciousness and thought continues to exist when separated from the body. The human being remains intact as an individual entity and retains their unique identity once separated from the body. There is more than enough evidence for this. God is a paradox. God is the matrix field of the universe, therefore to be found in nature and everything else, and at the same time God YHWH manifests as a individual entity who is capable of having a personal relationship with every single living being. I believe that mythology contains vast amounts of truth. Closer to the time of our creation the so-called supernatural obviously was a norm allowing for the incredible stories we read about.

Uranus sky god had sex with Gaia human female and the Titans were born. A terrible spawn and the ensuing saga of humanity eventually wiped out by the flood. These stories are there only because that is what humanity experienced. It is part of our history. Lea, what is the evidence that consciousness exists outside of the brain? I will accept any repeatable experiment, which is the foundation of science. Do you believe in ghosts just because there are so many ghost stories that they must therefore all be based in truth? Clay, I will respond as soon as I find the time.

I am not ignoring you or Bob. How many times does a man have to die and return to life before you will believe you are not your body? There are earthbound spirits and demons running around all around you. Lea, your arguments are all circular anyhow. You use the Bible itself as a justification for why you believe in the Bible.

The foundation of my faith is in only one, a holy, divine person called Jesus Christ. The Bible is his book and is useful, perhaps even vital, while alive on earth. I challenge you to read it and experience the living words of God but if you do it may just save you should you be one of those unfortunate souls that land up in hell when they die. That is when reality will hit you really hard. The average atheist understand Christianity better than the average Christian.

But why the Bible? Or the Tao Te Ching? Or maybe recommend that we study all religions before we settle down with one? You pretend that the choices are just Christianity by that, I mean your version of Christianity and atheism. You reckon? I have taken notice that you in particular do know some of the scriptures as you have quoted them although you cannot claim to really understand it, could you, based on the erroneous claims you make in the original argument regarding the title of this page.

The one truth turns out to be exquisitely simple and deeply profound. Jesus Christ is the difference. There is more and I am going to give it to you but I have to get some sleep too. I do recommend that all religions be studied, it was only when I looked deeper into these things that I understood more about who Jesus is and what makes him so different. And really, Bob, stay away from legalistic religion.

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Dogma is rooted in the demonic and enslvaes. I think I answered this elswhere. Let it be a relationship between you and your invisible friend. The choice is only between Jesus and Lucifer, in other words, Life or death hell? Respond to the points I made. And then we can move on to other stuff. Lea if you can explain why you chose your religion over all the other religions then that would prove that you are not brainwashed. BTW Lea, sorry for the personal insults.

Are you using a PC? If you compose your reply and then paste it into Notepad, then copy and paste that into Disqus, things look better. Has it proven any miracles? Where are the 2 million bodies in the Sinai? Have you made a sincere investigation into the reality of any other religious book?

Or did you stick to the one that was popular in your part of the world? True about sinfulness, but you need to check the dictionary about the other two. Again, nothing supernatural. Hi Bob, thank you for the input about the line breaks etc. I am brand new to blogging, this is my first landing. I am going to try and give you some good examples to consider, even though it is highly likely that you will reject them, but I hope that it will give food for thought.

Near death and out of body experiences are a pretty good indication of what occurs after death, I think. I do believe the Bible. I take it literally. I found this link:. This commenting system Disqus has some quirks, and that line break thing is one of them. That one must be blamed on Disqus. Why are the natural explanations for NDEs insufficient? I realize that science has yet more to learn, but what evidence is there to suppose that there really is something supernatural going on?

Bob, tell me honestly, did you read all the information provided on that link? These are full blown aethiests like yourself who are providing these stories. Frankly, the natural explanations seem to be a little desperate to me and they are only suppositions too. These people who experienced NDE and OBE did not believe in God and believed that when they died they would no longer exist, but found a very different outcome.

The Bible tells us that there is more unseen than what can be seen. You could wait until science verifies the phenomenon or you could in the meantime be open to the knowledge that there is a Supreme Being, the one we call YHWH, even if you find you cannot accept Jesus. There are chances to choose God, even after death but you might save yourself from some really horrible experiences because hell is indeed real, by simply recognising that there is this possibility that Jesus is real and of course, be the love that you are while you live. You cannot blame the Holy Spirit for not contacting you when you have the door firmly closed, locked and bolted, to his entrance.

Furthermore, the Holy Spirit works to reveal Jesus Christ to you, so you are the one who has chosen to take the attitude that you have towards Jesus despite the knowledge that you have. You cannot put the blame anywhere else. Knock and the door will be opened. Science today gives us every reason to reject the supernatural. Why your guy instead of a hundred others? Just because you like him? You cannot blame the Holy Spirit for not contacting you when you have the door firmly closed, locked and bolted.

Lea, you are just quoting things you have heard other Christians say. Each religion has its own unique set of such platitudes, and they are all meaningless to someone who is not sufficiently brainwashed to buy into them. There is a reason people raised atheist stay atheist, and people raised with religion cling to it for dear life. It has to do with not being able to admit you are wrong, and also being flat out brainwashed.

An aethist is as brainwashed as any other, perhaps even more so because must take a exceptionally rigid mind to consistently deny the spiritual, that which cannot be measured or evidenced, the supernatural. It takes the most incredible gullibility to believe that our ancestors are apes and pigs or we evolved from rock and chance over billions and billions of years just because some human scientists said so gods? And it is untrue also that aethiests remain aethiests and those raised in a religion remain in that religion. Admitting you are wrong goes both ways.

No, I am only joking. Most Christians today are very open minded and loving, they just look at me as if I am mad and shake their head, but still accept me for who I am. My dear Kodie, until you can admit that the theory of evolution is a brankrupt and corrupted implausible science fiction shoved down our throats by human beings who wanted to use the idea to destroy God, you will be under a delusion.

The second part of this makes zero sense. You are not new. How do you know how it works when hearing the voice of God, have you experienced this? America is a Petri dish of Christianity. Very true, some of us missing the focal point entirely which is Jesus Christ. There is a very strong unbreakable consensus though amongst most, even those who differ on trivialities, going on what you or who? Unlike the science under discussion here, where the gods of your religion make up a theory and then go on to present false evidence, breaking all the scientific rules of emperical science to make the so-called discoveries fit the false theory, all because they hate God and Christians.

Oh well. Lots of people are ungrateful, I suppose. There is alot about science that is absolutely wonderfully amazing, astounding and does advance humanity. I like the science that is without perversion, corruption. Do I have to go and do the research for you? I am sure you have access to the same avenues that I have to find the information you are demanding. But just one simple factor to put forth at this point is the idea of the chemical soup and the impossibility of this being able to transform into life as we know by random chance in accordance with established principles of science.

Another easy one is the fossil trail which is turned out very dissappointing for the evolutionists. Evolution is like shooting out into space a large scrapyard and expecting a boeing to come out. Or take a frog and put it in a blender then let it stand until a frog jumps out. There, another shortish post.

But I may come back with a vengeance armed with that evidence you want. I understand the research, thank you. Yes, you do have to do the hard work of understanding the issues before you make claims. Saves you from embarrassment. What sites do you use, BTW?

And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.

You got it all figured out, huh? Golly, you must be smart. But not you. You need to learn at least a little about science, otherwise you look like a buffoon. Here, for example: science never proves anything. Or, you just relabel your own thinking as having come from God. Any conclusions that I come to are just the result of a fallible person, but you can point to the Big G as the source of your wisdom.

How can I compete against that?? Ddi I say science never proves anything? Takes more faith to believe in this possiblity that in a Creator God. I really must apologise also if it comes across like I know it all because I am fully aware that these things we are discussing cannot be proven through emperical science. So I thought we were just sharing points of view.

You would come across a little smarter if you actually debated the issues at hand instead of trying so hard to dis me all the time. Your responses in the entry is what I find inane. I expect more from someone who knows more than me about science. Yes, you do indeed sound like a Know It All. There is a scientific consensus and you, a non-scientist, reject it. On what grounds could you possibly do so?!

I love debating the issues at hand. This is akin to the same kind of thing that the Roman Catholic church did to humanity not so long ago in its quest for dominance, power and money in the world. Brainwashing is a method of controlled systematic indoctrination, especially one based on repetition or confusion. You have been brainwashed by your education to dogmatically believe in a lie and you do so without question. To question it would be sacriligeous? The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by us; and I for one must be content to remain an Agnostic.

There is no conclusive evidence for the transition from ape to man. On the contrary, there is some evidence that present day man is a somewhat deteriorated descendent of his ancestors. We have devolved. The primitive men were not brute beasts or semi-apish savages, as we are made to believe by evolutionists, and the probabilities are that the early man was no different than the present day man. In fact, since the Cro-Magnon man the human brain seems to be decreasing in size. According to the scientists themselves, the Cro-Magnon men were known to have been far superior to modern men both physically and mentally in terms of brain capacity.

You have been deluded. I place my alliegance with that which brings blessing and love to humanity. You trust and believe in something that it simply not true science but a religion, and you have made Darwin your god, bringing greater darkness. To maintain that it is the way of science to replace old facts with new facts is simply not a sane or sober foundation because it reduces science to the ridiculous, to the fantasy, which it is by definition not supposed to be.

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To throw out the old ideas as the new arrive, is to throw out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak. It means we can never trust a so-called fact to be truth. Whatever will fit to make that true. You will follow whatever they tell you to believe and distrust anyone trying to teach you science. Science is figuring out how the world actually works. You are basically against progress. Just wash your clothes on a rock and collect berries for dinner — you have no idea what science is and why our knowledge tends to change. You answered a 5 month old post to evangelize your beliefs, having no idea that the whole internet has been here for years before you and already heard what you came to tell us that you think is brand new.

At all. And making tons of logical fallacies. The worst one you keep making is that science sounds too crazy to you that you favor your own delusion of a ghost who lives inside you, and epic battles between angels and demons, and a portal to an afterlife. Stay dumb, Lea. Kodie, extremely well said. I loved that rant! A true and justified one! What a complete imbecile. Back woods. Ancient Appalachian moonshine-drinking crazy. Such an amazing level of arrogance, mixed with stupidity, lack of education, and the aforementioned debatable quality of brainwashed.

Still, it would be good to have confirmation. And how do you know this? Ooh—let me guess: you read it on Answers in Genesis. Or at the Creation Research Institute. Science gave us the world we live in today. Today, not so much. Thank you, science. Or should I say: Thank you Lucifer? No one cares what Darwin said. What Darwin said is in the domain of History of Science. I am devoting as much time as I can to respond to you, wish I could do more.

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For confirmation I chose to look mainly at atheist scientists who were honest and brave enough to acknowledge the error of their ways of adherence to the man-made religion of evolution and why. Elsewhere I found that the evolutionists themselves presented the evidence that they are confounded. Lucifer is incapable of good. What sort of atheist are you, knocking Darwin like that?

How could you, man? Shame on you! Devolution, dying humanity. Wow—how do you do that? All that matters is what the consensus on evolution is within biology. What do you suppose it is? And neither do biologists. The point about Cro-Magnon man is that evidence shows that the human brain nothing to do with the whale, since we want to compare oranges with oranges, not oranges with apples has decreased in size as time went on. Show me that the consensus about evolution has changed due to this information. If not, why are you wasting my time with it? Brainwashing is when you DO accept ideas without proof.

The process of science is all about discarding old ideas that have been proven wrong, and admitting knowledge can increase as mankind learns more and more. Science is about evidence and is based on facts. You fail at all of this. You are fucking stupid. There is no way of getting out of this accusation; it is as close to an absolute, proven fact, that an honest assessment of the situation can get. Ignorance is merely the lack of knowledge. I cannot blame someone for merely not knowing some random piece of shit, or not being exposed to information.

No, this is something fucking different, far fucking worse. What you stand not only accused of, but proven guilty of, shits and pisses all over the innocence of simple ignorance and goes into the dark territory of deceit and fucking lies. This is wilful ignorance. This is prideful ignorance. Do I want to blame you for it? When your elders, and priests, and preachers, and the unqualified crank pseudo-scientific quasi-philosophers they get to back them up, have all conspired to brainwash you into thinking this is a good thing?

Yes, I fucking do. You have made a choice to stay ignorant, and be happy with it. Why do I bother with you? Just why? Why do I drag myself down to that sort of level? I have a fucking masters degree. I took four years out of my life learning quantum mechanics; management; nuclear physics; organic, inorganic, analytical, green, environmental, atmospheric chemistry; mathematics; and a fuck-ton of life skills and problem solving skills possessed by a tiny fraction of people.

I can write, I can draw, I can play and compose music, and I can program a computer to do a little fucking jig. I can do most of that without getting my cock trapped in a blender, too. I wrote a whopping four-hundred-fucking-page book to get a doctorate. To get that far, I was locked in a room with two experts who read it and who spent nearly three hours ripping it to shreds and finding any excuse they could not to give the final award to me. I fucking starved. I stayed up late and got up early.

All to get that. Some days I hate those little shits, but to be fair to them, one day a good chunk of them will also be locked in that room with a pair of experts, shitting themselves and wanting to all go away. They will come out of it alive, as One Of Us, and they will fucking well deserve every bit of it. I am a cog in that academic and scientific machine, and damn well proud of it.

By every conceivable metric, I am at the top of the grey matter tree. There are no transitional forms. Got that one? Need it dumbed down further? Fuck off. You would ignore it anyway. Every single word in this extensive rant has been compressed in my head into a single thought; a thought that fires in my brain every time I see you slack-jawed fuck-tards speak, or type, or even making a motion to open your mouths or put fingers to a keyboard.

You repeat mantras that have been refuted countless times. Were you there? Really, it proves nothing. I means nothing. Even if you ever get around to addressing any of the countless refutations to this simplistic fucking bullshit, all you can ever come up with is restating the point again, or whining about some other pathetic and irrelevant detail, or — and with fucking depressing regularity — spouting some bullshit about how people like me are suppressing your freedom.

You know what? Go fucking jump off a bridge, and test your freedom to not believe in gravity. Literally, go do that now. You want to know why? So where does that place you in that pecking order? I mean, seriously, you intentionally avoid learning. You avoid understanding. You actively train yourself to not understand and you fucking revel in all this. Even worse, you seem to think this actually qualifies you more. Get with the fucking programme already; if you cannot comprehend basic facts, you cannot expect to be invited to the debating table as an equal.

I would love, genuinely love, to help raise you up to being on my level.

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